sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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