But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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