doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
