my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
