Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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