i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
