i don't like sucking hair
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You're like the curious george of whores
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
