Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
