I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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