I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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