Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
