Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
