when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
