shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
