All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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