never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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