There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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