I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
