Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
