Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
