Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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