in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
