If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
