Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
