Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
