Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
