The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Randomize
