Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
