Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
