All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
