So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
