You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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