..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
