You can't special order awesome
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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