I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
