He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
