That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
