i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
