My liver just broke up with me...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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