It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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