I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
