dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
