talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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