Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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