Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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