We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
