Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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