GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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