well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I love having hate sex.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
