I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
